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jueves, 19 de septiembre de 2013

Mistakes in my essays


 Ana Lia Alonso

Teacher: Stella Saubidet

ISFD N° 41

19 September, 2013

                                

                                 Mistakes in my Essays

                                  A Question of Anxiety

 Learning how to write an essay, is an exasperating process, since there are many instructions to follow, and I do not know how to order my ideas to produce a correct work. Although I have enough material to understand the steps required in a proper essay, from the beginning  to the conclusion of writing, there are a lot of doubts that not only make difficult my challenge, but also blind my mind. Am I able to solve these problems using some strategies or is this a question of time and patience to solve this puzzle? Brian Adams says: Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success” . It appears that if I follow the correct steps, it will be easy to create a good essay, but all these steps have their clues and I have to understand them gradually, without anxiety, as well as being helped by another view about my work.

       It is known that the title and first paragraph are probably the most important parts of an essay, that´s why it is essential to think them quietly and it is the first problem to solve, since I always think if the title is reflected into the essay or not. Within this paragraph, is the topic sentence, a very relevant part of an essay which is difficult to select. In addition, the thesis has to contain my posture about the topic chosen and as if it was not enough, this thesis have to be supported with evidences, examples or quotations in the body paragraphs. At this point of the essay, I have doubts about the inclusion of non relevant information. Finally, the conclusion has to refer to all the data provided before, to assert our position about the thesis. At this moment, I feel worried about the possibility of not being understood, so I need the view of another person to edit the essay. 

        All these necessary clues and steps are uncomplicated to learn, remember and enumerate, but when I have with all the information in front of me, I should be unperturbed, letting aside the anxiety. The problem is that I am so anxious, that´s why it is important for me a peer correction, which make me conscious of the mistakes that I cannot recognize. When I read the corrections of my production, I feel ashamed of my mistakes that seem to be made by someone else. I feel I will not be able to improve my writing till I take enough  time to understand all the steps. In the same way, I know that at least half of the problem is produced by the disproportional and unnecessary sense of responsibility that makes me do everything so quickly, skipping steps instead of going slowly and consciousness.

Begin vs Start

Begin and Start are two verbs (sometimes used as nouns too) that are often confused when it comes to their meanings. Strictly speaking there is some difference between the two although both of them are sometimes interchangeable. The most important observation here is that the word ‘start’ is more informal usage when compared to the word ‘begin’. In other words the word ‘begin’ is used in the formal style.

Posture synonym of Position

Posture: A frame of mind affecting one's thoughts or behavior; an overall attitude.

Position.: Point of view or attitude on a certain question

Select vs. choose

Select is more formal than choose, and in everyday English, people usually say choose rather than select.
Assert vs. affirm
Assert : To say something clearly and firmly' (= to declare something)

Affirm: To state firmly or publicly that something is true

We assert forcefully; we affirm positively.

Discover- recognize

Discover: To be the first to find, learn of, or observe,

Recognize. To know to be something that has been perceived before

Rectification vs. correction

Typically we see rectification used in the context of fixing a problem or habit that is actively harmful, rather than correcting amending a simple error in a text. For example, "The new president sought to rectify the widespread injustices in his country" or "If he doesn't rectify his poor study habits, he will never finish university


 


 


 


Synonyms


correction :  adjustment, alteration, amendment, emendation, improvement, modification, rectification, righting


Rectification: modification, renovation, revision, reform  
 

martes, 9 de julio de 2013

THE LIBERATION OF DREAMS


                                                The liberation of dreams

                                          An open place with novel ideas






                                                       Ana Lia Alonso









                                                 Written Language
                                             
                                              Proffessor S. Saubidet

                                                      July 12, 2013


                                                                                                      Alonso 1
 Ana Lia Alonso         
Proffessor: Stella Saubidet
ISFD N° 41
9  July, 2013
                                   
                                      The liberation of dreams
                                  An open place with novel ideas
[]      One of the major challenges that Argentinian´s government has to cope with, is the inclusion of people from different origins. This social and political crisis is a consequence of immigration, which produced an ethnic mix of foreigners with different ideologies and believes. In accordance with the 2009 Census, it was estimated that more than five million immigrants from different races inhabit our country. They are distributed in a place, in which inclusion is one of the most important subjects to take in account in the agenda of our authorities. It is not a generalized knowledge that Art is so important in the struggle of achieving an inclusive place to live for all the human beings, but on the basis of some positive experiences, it was concluded that Art in the place of social change, plays a definite role as well as Arts-based methods are the best medium to understand diversity as a possibility to learn, instead of a manner to differentiate.  Roland Bonay affirms:” inclusion is the understanding, respecting, valuing, and accommodating of human and cultural differences”, Leo Tolstoy says:”art is one of the means of intercourse between man and man”, and according with the dictionary “art is the making and expression of what is beautiful in a space without rules, differences or prejudices”[…] , is a form of communication”. Undoubtedly, one
                                                                                                                               Alonso 2   
of the cornerstones of inclusion is to understand that everybody should be considered an equal, and Argentina is an open world with new ideas to achieve this aim through Art.
                                                                                                                                 
      Unfortunately, when certain racially prejudiced groups think that Art or whatever disciplines that promote inclusion are not important to take in account, we are going back as humans. A clear example of this is the expressions of close-minded persons, who think that insecurity is a consequence of an open country with revolutionary ideas to include people in it. They are accustomed to thinking the world as a place composed by different people. Luckily, psychologists, sociologist as well as investigators are making an effort to solve this, providing information about diversity through conferences, projects, participatory Art expositions as well as interesting novel activities. With these admirable enterprises, they desire to demonstrate that Art is the integration of mind, body and spirit that generates collaboration, joy and understanding.
       As a first example, In Tecnópolis, there is a pair of rooms where the hearts´ beating of people from different origins are recorder and exposed in a magnificent Light and Sound spectacle. It is one fascinating example to take in account, since humans should not consider different the things that nature shows as equals. In the same way, each month, the Italo-Argentinian Organization, invite people from Armenia, Bolivia, Denmark, Chile, Spain, USA, Perú and Portugal, to a Friendly Tea, in which they can share music, dance, pictures as well as all the manifestations of culture as a manner to learn that the understanding of diversity can enrich everybody. As if it was not enough,  the celebration of The Immigrant´s Day every year, takes place in Immigrations. In it,
                                                                                                                               Alonso 3
 Latin-Americans, Africans, Asians and Europeans share their ancestral Art and their different languages in the opening messages.
       The preceding examples, are only a little proof of the several projects and new activities that are in process in Argentina. The spectacle of the beating hearts is an interesting possibility to meditate on the teaching of nature about equality; the friendly tea is a novel form of communication in an intimate friendly place and sharing Art manifestations as well as different languages in a celebration, is an acceptation of diversity. Although some people still use the word “different” instead of “diverse” or ”you” instead of “us”, thanks to some organizations and responsible investigations, it is possible to affirm that Art is the best medium for a new dialogue, a bridge to join the diversity. In our country, there are many activities that make the difference. It is a fact that when difference and prejudice changed by equality and recognition, the liberation of dreams would provide us, little by little, with a fairer world at the end of the rainbow.




 

 

                                                                                                                               

                                            

                                                                                                                               Alonso 4                                                    

                                                     

 

                                                         Works Cited

 

 

About Inclusion In Art | Inclusion In Art.[on line], from

inclusioninart.com/about-us

Art - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia [online], from

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art
Diversity & Inclusion | The Artful recruiter[on line] from heartfulrecruiter.com.au/employers/diversity
Dirección Nacional de Migraciones. Colectividades.[online] from:http//:migraciones.gov.ar/ accessible/?colectividades

Diversity and the Art of Inclusion[on line], from ezinearticles.com/?Diversity-and-the-Art-of-Inclusion&id=2139269

 

Diversity Quotes – BrainyQuote [on line], from

www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/diversity.html

 

.What is Art? - Leo Tolstoy - Google Books[on line], from
books.google.com/books/about/What_is_art.html?id=Iwi4LoY6m1UC

jueves, 13 de junio de 2013

ENTRY NUMBER 9. CONCLUSION

                                 Conclusion

To conclude, expert testimony, public opinion, and even cartoons suggest that driving while phoning is very dangerous. Furthermore, scientific research confirms the dangers of using this kind of gadgets while on the road. Unfortunately, millions of people die around the world every day because of this fact. Probably, after having read this text, the reader’s questions may be these: is there any solution for this problem? And if there is one, what is it about? Most people believe that the establishment of stronger and homogeneous laws, legislated at national level, is essential to reduce the amount of fatalities in all societies. This wiil be useful to avoid distracted drivers getting off with lights punishmenteven when they cause fatal accidents. In the same way, it has been proved that laws regulating phones use can make our roads safer. In Japan, for example, accidents linked to cell phones fell by 75% just a month after the country prohibited using a handheld phone while driving.  With all this evidence, and because of mounting public awareness of the dangers of drivers distracted by phones, state legislators must begin to take the problem seriously and start to work on this.













miércoles, 29 de mayo de 2013

ENTRY NUMBER 8: Argentine immigration: Tradition of better conditions

Peer assessment: Xoana Torrecillas; Ana Lia Alonso

Argentine immigration: tradition of better conditions


       Argentina in particular has a long tradition of immigration as a better place to live, because it has given better conditions and guarantees than those offered by native ones. As an example of this, the european migration, in the70´s, was produced by general economic prosperity, public education and a liberal legal framework.  There are also other variables that exert an important influence on decisions to migrate, including war, ethnic discrimination and political persecution at home. In addition, choice of country of destination is also often influenced by the existence of a network of family and friends who have migrated previously to a specific country. More recently, our laws grant Mercosur citizens an automatic visa and the freeom to work and live within the space, including numerous importat changes as well, giving migants universal access to education and health care.In coclusion, Argentine is for a great part of the world, a better place to live, according to the possibilities given to everyone who wants to live hereand it is proved by its tradition on inmigration.
  




Sources:

Argentina: resettling refugees within the (online) from-.
www.fmreview.org/young-and-out-of-place/cavaleri.html

 

Globalization, history and international migration: A view (online) from:

andressolimano.com/articles/global/MIGRATION%20LAC%20ILO.pdf

Migration Information Source - Argentina's (online) from:

www.migrationinformation.org/Feature/display.cfm?ID=146

Inmigratin in Argentina- Images (online). From: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=inmigration in ArgentineFORM=HDRSC2#

If my computer worked well, I wilould put the comentaries in the right way. Till then, I am going to put it here..



Comentary from Xoana to my paragraph
  1. Xoana Torrecillas31 de mayo de 2013 06:16
Firstly, I have to admit that it was very difficult for me to correct your paragraph. I think there are a clear topic sentence as well as a controlling idea, “Argentina is the better place to live”, and “It gives better conditions and guarantees than others countries.” On the other hand, I think there is lot of information and I got lost because of it. For example, you mixed the controlling idea, that is, the list of the “better conditions and guarantees which are provided by Argentina” with the general causes of immigration. That is why, in my opinion, your paragraph would be clearer if you avoid this particular extract: “There are also other variables that exert an important influence on decisions to migrate, including war, ethnic discrimination and political persecution at home. In addition, choice of country of destination is also often influenced by the existence of a network of family and friends who have migrated previously to a specific country.” I believe that this extract refers to the causes of immigration and not to the “better conditions and guarantees” which are provided by Argentina; it was what made me confuse and re-read the paragraph many times to understand it.
I really hope you understand what I said before, because it is difficult to explain what I mean, even in Spanish!!! ;)


My conclusion about Xoana´s comentary


First, I desire to say that it is strange how we can understand our mistakes, when they are discovered by our mates and, at the same time, that it is easier for me to se mistakes in my mate´s paragraph rather than in mine. In addition, it is clearly useful this kind of correction; so now I am going to write my improved group of words, thanks to Xoana.

        Improved paragraph


Argentina in particular has a long tradition of immigration as a better place to live, because it has given better conditions and guarantees than those offered by native countries. As an example of this, the european migration, in the70´s, was produced by general economic prosperity, public education and a liberal legal framework. What is more, they were escaping  from war, ethnic discrimination and political persecution, that is why our country represented a paradise for them. More recently, our laws grant Mercosur citizens an automatic visa and the freedom to work and live within the space, including numerous importat changes as well, giving migants universal access to education and health care. In coclusion, Argentine is for a great part of the world, a better place to live, according to the possibilities given to everyone who wants to live here ,and it is proved by its tradition on inmigration.

  

ENTRY NUMBER 7: Roses Need Some Care to Grow Strong and Beauty

Work group: Xoana Torrecillas; Ana Lia Alonso

Roses Need Some Care to Grow Strong and Beautiful

         Roses need some care to grow properly as well as to become marvelous flowers with sweet smell,  and as a rose grower it is essential for you to be familiar with the ways of caring for them. To start with, in rose growing as in growing everything else, one has to begin at the soil, for it is the soil that nourishes the roots, the roots that feed the leaves, the leaves that support the blossoms. So, check your garden and determine the ideal spot to plant it with the require amount of light every day. Then, when it comes to watering them, always make sure you do not get water on the leaves, since wet leaves can lead to fungal infections. Next, feed these sweet smelling flowers properly with the correct food, because they need food to grow strong and beautiful. What is more, take your flowering plants safe from bugs, by either using rose food that has insecticide in them. Finally, if your plants have their leaves black,  them it is time to change them to another place of your garden.  In conclusion, knowing how to take care of roses, you can obtain beautiful and healthy flowers.
 




                         


Sources:

   How to Take Care of Rose - Methods to (online) from:
onlinegardenertips.com/flower-gardening/rose/How-To-Take-Care-Of-rose-html

How to take care of roses(youtube).From:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe2F-p5FskbQ

 Growing Roses for begginers: How to take care (online) from:
www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/roses/starting-a-rose-garden-htlm.


The ability to take care of plants, particularly, roses, depends on many points; here are some suggestions to triumph in doing so. To start with, in rose growing as in growing everything else, one has to begin at the soil, for it is the soil that nourishes the roots, the roots that feed the leaves, the leaves that support the blossoms. So, check your garden and determine the ideal spot to plant it with the require amount of light every day. When it comes to watering them, always make sure you do not get water on the leaves, since wet leaves can lead to fungal infections. Next, feed these sweet smelling flowers properly with the correct food, because they need food to grow strong and beautiful. In addition, take your flowering plants safe from bugs, by either using rose food that has insecticide in them. Clearly, if we take into account all these advices, our flora will grow successfully.

As I could not make the comentary in the correct place, I am going to do it here.

Metacognitive Analysis

In the parts of my paragraph I have changed with Xoana, there are some coincidences as well as some differences; through this analysis I want to discover what of them makes the consign  higher in  quality.Firstly, the sense of both introductions is the same, but Xoana used more formal words. Although she wrote a  shorter sentence , it is more clear and specific. With respect to the conclusion, the one as well as the other are corret, but she used  more synonyms than me. In accordance with the parts required, not only mine but also hers, contain all the items expected. In conclusion, in spite there are more similarities than differences, Xoana,s group of words are clearly better, and using them my paragraph became better.

lunes, 27 de mayo de 2013

Structured paragraph WritingENTRY NUMBER 6

STRUCTURED PARAGRAPH WRITING

Parts of a paragraph: English Academic Writing: Most important issues discussed in this video:

1   TOPIC SENTENCE: Here, we have to make clear what our subject is, what we are going to write about.

BODY: Here, we have to support our topic by providing details and arguments about it. We can order them chronologically (firstly, secondly, finally), or we can order them according to their importance.

CLOSING SENTENCE: It has 2 function
  Remind our audience what we are talking about
  Restate the topic but in a different way, by adding something. The aim is to keep people thinking about the topic.



Academic Writing: Most important issues discussed in this video:
Structure of a paragraph:
·         The style: in Academic Writing is formal.
·         The correct punctuation.
·         Paragraphing: expresses organized thoughts( the most important one)
.

What is a paragraph?
·         A distinct section in a piece of writing.
·         A number of related sentences.
·         Only one idea (the most important one).

Elements of the Paragraph:
·         Unit: is a distinct of writing easy to identify.
·         Coherence: must be focused on one main idea, supported by examples or  evidence.
·         Development: the paragraph must be well organized, must be coherent.

Qualities of a successful paragraph:
·         Unity: all the sentences must be focused in the main idea.
·         Coherence: each sentence must be related to the other.
·         Development: the main idea is supported by enough details and examples to make it valid.

Unity
·         Start a paragraph with a topic sentence.
·         Topic sentence: main idea, contains a topic and a controlling idea.
·         Controlling idea: comment about the topic sentence.
·         Other possibilities, wh questions: who, what, where, when, why, how.
Coherence:
·         Create logical bridges from one sentence to another.
·         Use of key words.
·         Use of synonyms.
·         Use of pronouns.
·         Use of transition words.
.
Development: Provides details and evidence to support the topic. Illustrates the point  with examples, to convince the reader that  your writing is valid.
TEE rules:
T: topic, the most powerful sentence.
E: explains why this is the powerful sentence.
E: examples, evidence.
Introductory paragraph (most important paragraph)
·         State main argument.
·         How you intend to answer the question.

Concluding paragraph ( next most important one)
·         Summarize the main points in few sentences
·         State main conclusion..
·         Must satisfy the reader (has the question been answered?).
DO NOT
·         Introduce new material.
·         End with a generalization.
·         End with a quotation.
DO: let your opinion let through.

Sources: 
AlexESLvid, Parts of a Paragraph - English Academic Writing Introduction. Available at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cCuExRE6N-4#! Retrieved: May 27, 2013
Massey University, Writing Structured Paragraphs. Available at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=w183qB0KDFg Retrieved: May 27, 2013

 

Members of the group: 
Alonso, Ana Lia
Torrecillas, Xoana Soledad
ISFD N°41