Follow by Email

miércoles, 29 de mayo de 2013

ENTRY NUMBER 8: Argentine immigration: Tradition of better conditions

Peer assessment: Xoana Torrecillas; Ana Lia Alonso

Argentine immigration: tradition of better conditions


       Argentina in particular has a long tradition of immigration as a better place to live, because it has given better conditions and guarantees than those offered by native ones. As an example of this, the european migration, in the70´s, was produced by general economic prosperity, public education and a liberal legal framework.  There are also other variables that exert an important influence on decisions to migrate, including war, ethnic discrimination and political persecution at home. In addition, choice of country of destination is also often influenced by the existence of a network of family and friends who have migrated previously to a specific country. More recently, our laws grant Mercosur citizens an automatic visa and the freeom to work and live within the space, including numerous importat changes as well, giving migants universal access to education and health care.In coclusion, Argentine is for a great part of the world, a better place to live, according to the possibilities given to everyone who wants to live hereand it is proved by its tradition on inmigration.
  




Sources:

Argentina: resettling refugees within the (online) from-.
www.fmreview.org/young-and-out-of-place/cavaleri.html

 

Globalization, history and international migration: A view (online) from:

andressolimano.com/articles/global/MIGRATION%20LAC%20ILO.pdf

Migration Information Source - Argentina's (online) from:

www.migrationinformation.org/Feature/display.cfm?ID=146

Inmigratin in Argentina- Images (online). From: http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=inmigration in ArgentineFORM=HDRSC2#

If my computer worked well, I wilould put the comentaries in the right way. Till then, I am going to put it here..



Comentary from Xoana to my paragraph
  1. Xoana Torrecillas31 de mayo de 2013 06:16
Firstly, I have to admit that it was very difficult for me to correct your paragraph. I think there are a clear topic sentence as well as a controlling idea, “Argentina is the better place to live”, and “It gives better conditions and guarantees than others countries.” On the other hand, I think there is lot of information and I got lost because of it. For example, you mixed the controlling idea, that is, the list of the “better conditions and guarantees which are provided by Argentina” with the general causes of immigration. That is why, in my opinion, your paragraph would be clearer if you avoid this particular extract: “There are also other variables that exert an important influence on decisions to migrate, including war, ethnic discrimination and political persecution at home. In addition, choice of country of destination is also often influenced by the existence of a network of family and friends who have migrated previously to a specific country.” I believe that this extract refers to the causes of immigration and not to the “better conditions and guarantees” which are provided by Argentina; it was what made me confuse and re-read the paragraph many times to understand it.
I really hope you understand what I said before, because it is difficult to explain what I mean, even in Spanish!!! ;)


My conclusion about Xoana´s comentary


First, I desire to say that it is strange how we can understand our mistakes, when they are discovered by our mates and, at the same time, that it is easier for me to se mistakes in my mate´s paragraph rather than in mine. In addition, it is clearly useful this kind of correction; so now I am going to write my improved group of words, thanks to Xoana.

        Improved paragraph


Argentina in particular has a long tradition of immigration as a better place to live, because it has given better conditions and guarantees than those offered by native countries. As an example of this, the european migration, in the70´s, was produced by general economic prosperity, public education and a liberal legal framework. What is more, they were escaping  from war, ethnic discrimination and political persecution, that is why our country represented a paradise for them. More recently, our laws grant Mercosur citizens an automatic visa and the freedom to work and live within the space, including numerous importat changes as well, giving migants universal access to education and health care. In coclusion, Argentine is for a great part of the world, a better place to live, according to the possibilities given to everyone who wants to live here ,and it is proved by its tradition on inmigration.

  

1 comentario:

  1. Firstly, I have to admit that it was very difficult for me to correct your paragraph. I think there are a clear topic sentence as well as a controlling idea, “Argentina is the better place to live”, and “It gives better conditions and guarantees than others countries.” On the other hand, I think there is lot of information and I got lost because of it. For example, you mixed the controlling idea, that is, the list of the “better conditions and guarantees which are provided by Argentina” with the general causes of immigration. That is why, in my opinion, your paragraph would be clearer if you avoid this particular extract: “There are also other variables that exert an important influence on decisions to migrate, including war, ethnic discrimination and political persecution at home. In addition, choice of country of destination is also often influenced by the existence of a network of family and friends who have migrated previously to a specific country.” I believe that this extract refers to the causes of immigration and not to the “better conditions and guarantees” which are provided by Argentina; it was what made me confuse and re-read the paragraph many times to understand it.
    I really hope you understand what I said before, because it is difficult to explain what I mean, even in Spanish!!! ;)

    ResponderEliminar